Through the Wringer: The Finale

First off, I want to apologize for doing these segments so sporadically. The baby is due any day now and it’s been increasingly hard to do things. On with the story!

I had retaken the bar and was not so patiently for the results. Finally, April came around. It was the big day. I took the morning off. The office had planned a big lunch celebration (no pressure!). D took the day off so he could be with me when we found out. The list came up. I had my number in my hand. I was too afraid to look, but couldn’t look away. D slowly scrolled down the screen until he got to where my number should be…and it was there! I passed the bar! D and I hugged each other and started crying. The office waited about 15 minutes after they knew scores were posted to call me. This time, I had happy news to share.

I felt like things were finally going to be all right for D and I. We both had jobs. I had finally passed the bar. We were starting to settle into our town and our lives together. D had a scare at work. They let a bunch of people go. Luckily, D was not one of them. A few months later, they let D’s boss go. D is now the only one with an engineering degree left at the company (it’s a small company). Realistically, this means D finally has pretty good job security. D has been working there for almost three years now.

D and I are now expecting our first child. The baby is due on April 3rd (as I said, any day now!). We started looking at houses. We looked at a lot of houses. And then, we looked at some more houses. We finally found one that we like a lot. We had previously been given verbal pre-approval at the bank. We put in an offer. After a little negotiation, we accepted a counter-offer. We sent the purchase agreement on to the bank. Then the bottom dropped out.

Apparently, the federal standards had changed from our previous discussions with the banker. Our credit scores were now too low according to the new standard (but not the previous one). It didn’t matter that we had 10% to put down on the house. At this point, it looks like the dream of owning a house will have to wait. We have one “hail Mary pass” so to speak out there, but I’ve resigned myself to the fact that we’re not going to be able to get a house right now.

On top of all this, one of the attorneys in my office informed me that “they weren’t sure if they were keeping me yet.” So, I may have to find another job in this economy. I’m not looking forward to that. So, it may be for the best that we weren’t able to get the house. All the sea of uncertainty has been hard on D and I during the 9th month of my pregnancy.

Despite all this, I feel like we’ve been through worse. All the job losses, taking the bar twice, etc. makes me feel like D and I are prepared for whatever comes next. We have always been able to turn things around and they have always worked out for us. Every time life gives us a blow, it seems like it isn’t long before we are back on top. D and I have been through the wringer several times, but the only way to squeeze out the extra water is to do so. And it does feel nice to get rid of all the extra water weight!

I hope you enjoyed our story. It feels good to share it with all of you.

Happy Crafting!

Through the Wringer: Part VII

*D doing his best explorer pose on our honeymoon in Key West.

D and I were finally married….and living with his parents. I love D’s parents dearly, but the fact of the matter is I was still living with my in-laws. D and I started looking for places to live in a nearby community. It was a great community near where his parents lived and D’s drive to work would be virtually the same. We found an apartment, and after about a week of living with his parents, we moved.

While looking for places to live, I was also applying for jobs. There wasn’t anything actually listed as a job opening for an attorney nearby, so I began sending out letters and resumes. One contact in Redwood seemed promising. D’s dad asked his friend’s brother (an attorney in town) if they had any openings. It turned out that an attorney had just left their office.

I set up an interview. The interview seemed to go well. Less than a week later, they hired me! Now that I had a job, I became even more nervous about the bar exam. I still hadn’t heard if I passed or not. In fact, I had to wait until October to find out. That was over a month away.

I started work right away. I did work for the other attorneys in the office until I knew if I passed the bar or not. The big day finally came. I took the day off, knowing I didn’t want to find out at work with everyone there. D went to work as usual, but planned to call me at the time the passing exam numbers were posted. D called a few minutes before the list was posted. We both had my exam number in front of us. I began frantically searching the list as it came up. I looked three times, but my number wasn’t there. I was devastated.

I began to cry as I realized I didn’t pass. What was I going to do now? I had a job, one that depended on my passing the bar. Over half of the people who graduated in my class didn’t have jobs yet, and I was going to lose mine before they even had one.

D realized how upset I was and asked if I wanted him to come home. At first, I thought I would tough it out, but quickly realized I didn’t want to be alone. D took the rest of the day off and drove the 20 minutes home. When he got there, all I could do was cry. He held me in his arms while I sobbed.

A few hours later, work called. They knew I was finding out today if I passed or not. I had the really hard task of telling them I had not passed. They told me to take it easy for the day and the firm would talk about the consequences later. I was sure I was going to lose my job. I began to doubt myself. Maybe I wasn’t cut out to be an attorney. Maybe I didn’t study hard enough. Maybe it was too much to take on the bar and a wedding in such a short amount of time.

Going to work the next day was agonizing. I was convinced they were going to ask me to pack my things and leave. Instead, the firm decided to give me another shot. They were pretty clear about what would happen if I didn’t pass. I was given the option to keep working for a few months, and then take some time off to study for the next bar in February. I took it.

I began studying during none busy moments at work. Starting in December, I began working only half days, working in the morning and studying in the afternoon. In January, I took the whole month off to take a live review class. In February, I took the bar. Then I had to wait until April to find out if I passed or not. This time, I felt more confident after I took the test. But I didn’t know if that confidence was due to the fact that I actually did better or if it was just wishful thinking.

Did I actually pass the bar this time? Find out tomorrow in Part VIII.

Through the Wringer: Part VI

On the Cracker Jack box was written the words, “Will you marry me?” Immediately, tears sprang to my eyes and my hands started shaking. I opened the box. Instead of Cracker Jacks, there was tissue and a ring. I didn’t even say a word. I put on the ring and nodded my head. D and I hugged and kissed.
*D and I right after geting engaged!

The whole time this was happening, I had no idea what was going on around me. I was totally engrossed in the moment. When D and I finally pulled apart, I looked around the room. My entire family was crying. My parents, my brother, my grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins were all there.

Okay, I know what some of you are thinking. Why a Cracker Jack box? During the time I was pressuring D to get engaged, D would often say we just didn’t have the money for that right now (he was right). My pouty reply was always, “I don’t care if the ring comes out of a Cracker Jack box!” D remembered that phrase and turned it into a wonderful proposal.

I had no idea that D was planning to propose. After D had his new job, I figured it would take awhile before he could save up enough money for a ring. I just assumed that he was more likely to propose around graduation time.

My last semester of law school happened in a whirlwind. All of a sudden, it was graduation. I had applied to take the Minnesota bar. D and I were planning a wedding, and I had no idea where I was going to find a job.

*I made it! Law School Graduation

I spent the summer studying for the bar. I split my time between my parents’ house and D’s parents’. Luckily, they were only an hour and a half apart. The bar was set for mid July. D and I had decided to get married in August. (Yeah, I know, I didn’t leave much time there did I?) So in between studying for the bar, my mom and I made a lot of wedding decorations.

I took the bar exam. I had no idea how I did. In some ways I felt like I did well, in others, not as much. For the next two weeks, I threw myself into last minute wedding preparations. When the big day came, I was ready to be married. The only things still weighing on my mind was whether or not I passed the bar and finding a job.

Our wedding was a huge success. D and I had a wonderful time. The day was warm, but not ridiculously hot. We saw so many people and for the most part, everything ran smoothly. I was so happy to be finally marrying the love of my life.

The only problem was now what? D and I didn’t have a clue where we would live or where I would find a job.

Where did we go? Check out Part VII tomorrow!

Happy Crafting!

Through the Wringerl: Part V

D called me at work with terrible news. He had lost his job for the second summer in a row. We were both devastated. We had gone through this very problem last summer and had survived only to be right back in the same position. D began the hard search for a new job.

It wasn’t very long into that search that we had to sit down and decide something very tough. There was not a lot available for D in his field where we were currently located. That was added with the fact that I only had one year left of law school before I would be graduating. D and I went back and forth on this awhile. I finally told D he needed to apply to any job he could find that would be in his field, no matter where that job might be.

Things became stressful in our relationship. D was depressed about the job situation. I was trying to finish law school. During this time (and prior to D’s job loss), I was also adding to the stress by putting pressure on D to get engaged. Looking back, it was clearly not the time to be thinking of getting married, but I couldn’t seem to help myself from adding that pressure.

D continued filling out job applications and going to interviews. One interview occurred at a small company in a small town in Minnesota. We knew the job prospects for D were better in his home state of Minnesota. The only effect it had was whether or not I would take the bar exam in South Dakota or Minnesota.

D ended up getting the job in Minnesota. Late that fall, D had to move. Luckily, the job was close enough to his parents’ house that he could live with them for awhile to save money. D worried about me staying the apartment by myself (partially because he was worried about me being alone, and partially because he was worried about the financial aspect).

Thankfully, a fellow law student had a house with an extra bedroom that he was willing to rent out to me. The last semester of law school, I moved in with him and another law student. It was a bit of a challenge getting along with “roommates” again, but it worked out fairly well.

That year, D and I were both looking forward to Christmas. We had already been living apart for a month and a half. It was a struggle after being together for so long. D and I were at my grandparents’ house celebrating with my Dad’s side of the family. We were opening presents and laughing as usual.

Suddenly, D brings out a present for me. “I thought we were going to open ours later. I didn’t bring your gift with,” I told him. “That’s okay,” he said, “I wanted to give you yours now.” Thinking nothing of it, I began to open the present. On the top was a book I had asked for. I lifted the book out of the box and turned to say thank you. When I looked over at D, He was down on his knees smiling. I couldn’t believe it! I threw the book on the floor and looked back at the box. There was more in the bottom. Inside, was a Cracker Jack box. On the box, there were words written in sharpie.

What did the box say? Check it out tomorrow in Part VI!

Happy Crafting!

Through the Wringer Part IV

D had just lost his job. I couldn’t believe it. It was less than a year after he had started that job. So, D began the job search all over again. He mostly looked in our area, but there were a few he applied to that were quite a distance. We didn’t know if he would be able to stay in the same town or not. Luckily, about a month later, D got offered another job, just minutes from where his old one was located. We both breathed a sigh of relief that D would be able to stay in the same town as me.

D and I ended up moving to a different apartment when our year lease was up. This apartment had a balcony/deck. I could at least plant pots outside. I was thrilled! I even dug up a small patch of dirt underneath the deck. It had clearly been a garden once upon a time, but was sorely neglected with big, tall weeds. It took me hours to clear it out and replant it, but it was worth it in the end.


I began my second year of law school that fall. There is a saying about law school. “The first year they scare you to death, the second year they work you do death, and the third year they bore you to death.” That saying was certainly true for me. Second year was a lot of hard work (not that the rest wasn’t, it just seemed like second year there was more of it).

D and I grew closer through our struggles (his job loss and my second year). We of course still had our ups and downs, but overall, it felt like we belonged together. We had friends over frequently, barbecuing on the deck, taking impromptu fishing trips, etc.



The school year flew by, and it wasn’t long before summer came again. That summer, I had an internship (albeit unpaid) at a law firm in a neighboring town. I got school credits and therefore qualified for summer student loan money. D continued working.



I loved my internship. I was working under a great mentor who taught me so much. That summer, I truly felt for the first time that being a lawyer was what I wanted to do. My internship allowed me to actually get in the courtroom and question witnesses, make arguments, draft briefs, etc.



It was towards the end of my internship and summer was winding down. D called me while I was at work. He was very upset. He told me something that neither of us saw coming…



What did D say? Stay tuned on Monday* for Part V of “Through the Wringer”



Happy Crafting!

*Yes, I am taking the weekend off, as I will be out of town. Sorry for the delay in the story that will cause.

Through the Wringer: Part III

Posting two parts today to make up for missing yesterday. Here's Part III:

D had just had an interview near where I was going to law school. He called me a few days later with news. He had gotten the job! We were so excited. Not only was the job close enough that we could live in the same town, but it was finally a job that utilized D’s degree. Once again, just a few weeks after we thought we were going to have to be apart, we were together again.

Since we had lived together all summer and neither one of us could really afford to live on our own, D moved into the two bedroom apartment with me. It felt like we were playing house for awhile, with D going to work every day and me going to school.

I admit law school was a struggle for me. I really never had to put much effort into studying before. I did minimal work (a.k.a. usually just reading) and would get decent grades from high school all the way through college. Law school was work! Classes required at least an hour of reading before each one and that didn’t include any note taking or briefing you did so you could remember the cases for class the next day. The two week stretch of finals every semester required long hours upon hours of studying.

Through all this, D and I had our ups and downs. Law school was stressful. As such, I was already stressed out. On top of that, law school culture is one of drinking. Large amounts of your classmates go out several times a week. D had a regular job, so it just wasn’t feasible for him to do so. There are times I went out with the girls, or a group of friends sans D. After awhile, this did put a strain on our relationship. Looking back, I wasn’t being very respectful of D or even myself at times. Add to the fact that anytime we visited either D’s family or mine, it was a three and a half hour drive. This was not something we were used to.

We managed to get through all the relationship ups and downs together to survive my first year of law school. Summer was fast approaching. I tried to get a job at a few places. I’ll admit that I was picky in pursuing a job. I got a little egotistical and felt it was too low to take a job at a fast food joint (slightly in my defense, I had never worked fast food in my life). I’m sure D was frustrated with me and only living on one source of income that summer, but he kept that to himself.

I did babysit for D’s sister for a week when she didn’t have daycare. During that time, I got a call that they were offering me a job at telemarketing firm I had interviewed at. Unfortunately, they weren’t offering any new training classes until the end of the summer and I would only end up working for a few weeks before school started. I knew there was no way I could work during the semester, so it just seemed pointless.

If I had known was about to happen, I might have taken the job. Unexpectedly, D called me in the middle of the day. The news was not good…D had been laid off.

What did D and I do next? Stop by tomorrow for Part IV.

Happy Crafting!

Through the Wringer: Part I

I've been struggling for awhile now on whether or not I want to do this, but I finally decided I would do it. What is the "it" I'm referring to? Well, I'm going to share with you a little bit of my back story. The events I feel led me to this place in my life. Feel free to skip this if it's boring, and I promise I'll have a tutorial posted sometime this week. If you're interested, here's the first part of what I'm calling "Through the Wringer"

I'll give you a little info on my childhood first. I grew up on a farm near a small town in South Dakota. I loved reading, school, and having mini make believe adventures in the grove or "woods" as I called them. Looking back, I'm glad I grew up in that environment and I wouldn't have it any other way. In high school, I went the geek route. I was involved in band, choir, debate, oral interp, FFA, and vast other activities I can't quite remember. By the time I got to college, I was burned out on participating in a lot of these types of activities.

I went to college at SDSU (and that stands for South Dakota State University, not San Diego State!) Go Jacks! I loved the atmosphere of college, being surrounded by friends constantly, the spontaneous road trips, and feeding entire neighborhoods (at least that's what I did!). I had always loved history as a subject and majored in that. After I had taken a few political science classes, I became hooked on that and decided to double major. Originally, I thought I would be a history teacher, but the closer it came to taking the teaching classes, the more I realized I did not want to do that.

I was two semesters away from graduating and I had no idea what I was going to do with my history and political science majors. It was then that my political science advisor, Dr. Robert Burns, said to me, "Why don't you go to law school?" Huh? I mean, somewhere in my dreams during the high school debate years I had thought it would be great, but I didn't have the stuff to really go to law school, did I? Sure I had taken Dr. Burns' law classes and loved them, but I never really considered law school as an option. Dr Burns gave me the best advice ever when he told me, "Take the LSAT and see how you do. If your scores are good enough, apply to a few schools and see what happens."

I took Dr. Burns' advice and took the LSAT. My score was decent, so I applied. I only applied to one school, the only law school in the state, the University of South Dakota. I figured that there was no way I could afford to pay out of state tuition elsewhere.

In the meantime, my personal life had it's ups and downs. I had a couple of serious relationships during the college years. The first with a high school boyfriend who was semi-controlling and needed to spend every waking moment with me. I broke that off. Then I began a relationship with a guy who had many of the same interests as me. He was into the political science and history vibes, he planned on going to law school right away. We were pretty serious, but he would rather read or play computer games than hang out with me. I had gone from one relationship extreme to the other. I broke it off.

During my last relationship, I made some awesome friends. A, would eventually become my best girl friend and still is. Ironically, she was friends with boyfriend number 2 first. He introduced us. And then there was D. D was a guy that A introduced me to at karaoke. D and I kept running into each other at karaoke, softball, etc. We eventually became friends and started hanging out, especially after the end of my last relationship.

*D and I at karaoke

D and I would talk for hours on end. We would have these long talks after getting home from karaoke often until 4 in the morning. D and I were just to the point of starting a relationship, when D's internship in town ended. D had graduated the semester before, and decided he needed to move back home with his parents to save money while looking for a job. We said a tearfull (on my part) goodbye knowing that he was going to be two hours away and it probably wasn't best to start a relationship that way.

A week later D called...

Want to know what news D had? Tune in tomorrow for Part II of "Through the wringer"

Happy Crafting!